We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
