How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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