Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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