I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
