I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize