I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
