I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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