he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why do cheetos always look like penises
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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