Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I AM VODKA MAN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He shit in the fireplace
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
