worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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