Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
