Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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