Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
