so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
