Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
