forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Boobs speak an international language.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
