a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
