There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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