Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
