We're facebook friends in real life
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
