you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
high people should be assigned attendants
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
