In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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