i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
