i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
In America we eat man semen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
