The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
