the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
