Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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