Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
