zippers are such a cool invention
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
did you just send me my own nude
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
