I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
