I'm going to jail i love you
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
