my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
