I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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