I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
