Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
