someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
