I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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