You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't make out with my wife yet
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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