she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
