Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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