Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
