U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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