Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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