Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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