i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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