ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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