Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish I only lived at night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
