girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
