he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
