you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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