just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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