Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
