So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
