its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
