I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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