Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
