And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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