Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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