I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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