This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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