On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
