she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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