the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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